I'd been meditating for slightly over 10 years now. But it's not often I write about it. Not because there wasn't anything to write about, but because what I see and experience when sitting are hard to put into words. Only imagery, metaphors, visualisations and poetry work in this space. And so here it is:
In darkness, I sat
Fading into darkness
Eyes swimming in darkness
Nothing but thoughts and images
Spluttering in and out of darkness
Am I even meditating?
It's so dark, it's hard to tell...
It's still dark
Dark without doubt
Is the watching even useful?
But wait......watch the questioning!
And see how watching has drawn your enemy out, into the open
It's name is "Desire for something to happen" or "Craving for self re-creation"
This enemy had you asking
if your watcher is working
But verily, truly,
your watcher is effective beyond
That's why, that's the sole reason why,
the enemy is using doubt and discord
to get you to stop the watcher watching!
So it's not patience I need
Maybe feeling and watching the impatience is key
As impatience is the enemy's mask
ALL I need to do
is to keep the watcher watching
Just plain seeing, just watching,
with eyes wide and round
Open to see all those
thoughts, images, feelings
Buzzing around, breezing past
Occasionally, only occasionally
sensing the want to want more.
Want out, want in,
want being, want none.
But letting it be through plain seeing
with eyes wide and round.