I have always admired people who could speak to large groups of people and effectively get their point across whether that be a technical explanation or a motivational speech. I love you. I want to be you. When I admire someone a lot, I typically put them on a pedestal until they are seen as more than human or not human. This is a problem because this is basically my minds way of fucking me over and saying I'll never be able to do what this person is doing because this person isn't human. It's my natural way of excusing myself from all the hard work and dedication needed to achieve what they have achieved.
Hopefully with my new 30 Day Voice Challenge, I can eventually overcome this and I will become my greatest inspiration instead of looking outwards for inspiration that leads to the vicious human to God cycle that screws me over. Having idols is great and all but it can be quite dangerous and self-limiting.
I'm thinking one day in the distant future, I will be on someones podcast proudly talking about a certain topic, without misspeaking or mumbling. Visualizing that is what keeps me going.