kintsugi.. omg how amazing! It's sooo beautiful! I am jealous!!!
Everything that you write (so beautifully!) resonates in me. The Wandergrief (what a great word!!!) has always been intensely present in my life. I remember when I felt it the firsts time, after a Winter camp in hight school. It was a very special trip, we (a small group with a coach) were staying in a tiny village, lost in the white vastness after the snow storm. It was so difficult to "come back".
When you write "That sense of calm and centredness", do you associate it with the fact that it was Japan?
Last year we spent a week in Japan and I had the same experience (despite rather ugly weather and no cycling nor running), even though it was Tokyo, huge agglomeration. (@philh , how about you?)
When I got off the plane in Munich, I hurt all over. From the noise, from like... "roughness of interactions", "loud presence" of others. Before that abrupt confrontation with The West, I didn't realise "the calming silence that I was carrying within me"...
Yes, I am sure it all depends on how "fast" is the pace of our journey. How much time we simply "are", without diving into "mere consumption". But I am sure Japan helps to stop and "just be".
No easy remedies though. But I think what you are doing now, here, is just perfect. Gently leaving the experience behind, looking at it with tenderness, and letting yourself to grieve. It is loss after all.
In our society we expect that this kind of life events will have very little or no influence on our lives. That after a few days of sadness and low energy, we will effortlessly go back to our routines, obligations, social life.