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Jan 09, 2019 23:41:51

Vent Now, Reply Later

by @keenencharles | 203 words | 1🔥 | 96💌

Keenen Charles

Current day streak: 1🔥
Total posts: 96💌
Total words: 27732 (110 pages 📄)

I'm easily angered by things I strongly disagree with. Immediately I want to tell the person why they're wrong and educate them. In some ways, at that moment the person becomes a villain. Everything they are is infected by this one opinion and all I see is the worst I can imagine.

Usually, my comments from anger miss a lot of the context and focus on the specific thing that upset me. It's a relief to get it all out but then hours later I look back at what I said and I see the holes in my argument, the gaps glossed over by rage.

Instead of rage tweeting/texting, I've found a solution that's almost as relieving. Opening a new note, and venting away. There's no need to filter, no need to have a convincing argument, it's all anger. Then hours later when I've calmed down I can re-read the venom, I find what's worth keeping and see the holes as plain as day.

Then I can see the other person's viewpoint better and rephrase my argument from a point of understanding rather than judgement and anger. It's not as satisfying as a heated debate but it can be more constructive.

  • 1

    @keenencharles
    Good tip.

    Mark Armstrong avatar Mark Armstrong | Jan 10, 2019 08:22:05
    • 1

      @RealNegotiator glad you liked it

      Keenen Charles avatar Keenen Charles | Jan 10, 2019 15:50:06
  • 1

    @keenencharles I need to apply this ? Much better than having endless arguments staying in my head

    Basile Samel avatar Basile Samel | Jan 10, 2019 04:58:43
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      @basilesamel haha it works

      Keenen Charles avatar Keenen Charles | Jan 10, 2019 15:49:57
    • 1

      @keenencharles @basilesamel This is also a great approach for email. Unfortunately, intent sometimes gets lost in translation when you send emails. It's always a good idea not to have the knee-jerk response when something strikes a chord with you emotionally.

      Brandon Wilson avatar Brandon Wilson | Jan 10, 2019 19:19:53
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