He didn't like the fact that Jay moved back to Westcity. He liked it better when Jay was his best friend who lived far away. Someone he missed. Now that he was here he couldn't miss him. We all want someone to miss, he thought. And then he thought about how much he missed her. They'd spent just three hours at the apple orchard earlier and yet that scene felt like the entire semester. When he thought of this semester all he thought of was that short snippet of time.
"I'm thinking of staying a fifth year."
Jay made a face. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. I would have to rush this year if I want to graduate. If I just stay a fifth year I can drop some classes next semester and take it easy."
"That sounds good. What makes you want to take it easy?"
"Mm. Taking it easy with school. I don't think school is right for me."
"So no grad school?"
What will you do instead? He heard Jay say in his mind. Or felt Jay say.
"It's good that you know what you want... or at least what you don't want."
He knew what he wanted. But usually when someone speaks of what they want it was in terms of jobs and careers. Something related work. He felt kind of fucked because he didn't ever feel that. His head would ache before it'd be able to remember the last time he wanted something that fell under the domain of work or career.
All he wanted right now was what he already had. Which was missing her. Waiting for the next time he'd be hanging out with her. That's all that mattered. For now, whatever happened in between those times didn't matter.