I think at first I tried making Moriah feel bad. No I know I did. But it's really weird to see myself doing such a thing when I view myself from someone else's eyes.
In a way, over the years, I've mastered the art of presenting the me of today as the person I've always been. Like I could never have been different in the past. But in a way, I think everyone does this, and this is why new friends and new loves can be so alluring.
The only difference between me and everyone else or at least most everyone else is the speed at which it happens and the consciousness that it is happening. Phil had thought they were one in the same. That my consciousness is what drove the speed.
Having become too conscious about this, I've put the brakes on. But why?
Anyways, yes. At first I hated that about Moriah. The way she presented herself. And how that afforded her different attention. And then I tried hurting her. And then when I saw she was hurt, I stopped. And through a couple cycles of this we had grown close. Became friends.
But then something worse happened after.