I have been pushing myself a little too hard, it has caused me to feel constantly stressed out. I believe it has been fueled by a belief of not having enough time, which forces me to constantly be thinking of what the next step should be. It has been going on so long it’s hard to let go, I don’t know how to relax anymore. But it’s not a true belief, is it? Sure, memento mori (Remember that you will die). But that does not mean achieve, it means live. I don’t have to rush so hard to be someone. Einstein said; “Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better”. Do you know the direct translation of the Chinese word for nature?
“That which happens of itself.”
You cannot for force a flower to blossom, so in the same way, you cannot force yourself to grow. Sure, you can aid the process by watering the blossom, or reading books for yourself, but the growth part takes time. You cannot force yourself to be whatever you were meant to be, it will happen of itself. Give it time, and do your best to trust the processes of nature.