Yesterday I had the most honest conversation I’ve ever had in my life and I’m surprised I still remember every detail of it.
I realized for sure this is the kind of space I’d want to create for myself. It makes me breathe freer and I feel growth within whenever I leave such spaces.
I’m trying to have this with the people in my close circle and not even compromise on how to satisfy my soul . Yesterday I realized the possibilities were truly possible. I figured I was worthy and I truly have soul and something special within myself.
I wondered all the ways I’ve starved myself from feeling happy and always scared of losing people.
I realized I’ve not been growing to be sufficient for myself. I’ve been growing to fit someone into my life.
Growing to be sufficient for self should be the main goal to strive towards.
The helplessness that comes from having all these expectations from people to hold you in a warm way and they letting you down is one that shatters the heart.
I figured I wouldn’t want to subject myself under that anymore.
This isn’t to say I’m totally blocked off from having someone intimately in my life but all I’m saying is, that isn’t the focus for me right now.
I need to learn to sit in silence with myself and enjoy myself in ways no one have.
I need to fuel my passions well and allow my heart to leap with joy.
I need to learn to be kind to myself and say very comforting things to myself and sink in the thought that I really cherish myself.
I need to be gentle with myself and to get to know all the varied ways that make me happy. Knowing myself holistically will definitely be the greatest feat and I’m ready for it.