I cannot come up with a better title. So let me know if you could tell a better one. I would like to say that our expectation has always an impact on our relationship.
When you get angry or frustrated about the relationship or someone's reaction, you might expect something different from what the reality was.
Recently, I was planning to go back home and talked to my parents. I assumed my parents could be glad to help us and even see their first grandson. Probably it is because, in the U.S., I saw a lot of cases where those who had a newborn got some help from both of their parents.
- One of my Indian friends' parents stayed at his home for 6 months after the other parents came over for 6 months the other time.
- One of my Chinese friends asked me if someone from our family came over to help us or not.
By looking at these examples, I started to build some expectation that grandparents were happy to help us. I am sure that our parents will be happy when we visit their house and be happy to see my grandson. But the words came out first was not what I expected. It seems what our parent care was more about the stress when we visited their home. Yes, I understand we will bring a very annoying infant and bother other's lives without any respect.
It is not easy to change other's mindset, especially parents. If you do not live closely, there is no chance. So I need to calibrate and reset my expectation.