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Mar 29, 2019 23:10:32


by @vickenstein | 205 words | 🐣 | 218💌

Victoria Maung

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Total posts: 218💌
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I personally have a friend, who is the same age as me, who has made at least one million dollars in equity since graduation, an intelligent and kind partner, and a driven future-facing passion. I also have a friend who entered school with barely any money to her name, who is probably the unluckiest I've ever met, constantly being afflicted by a slew of financial, health, and marital problems.

It is absolutely remarkable how some in this supposedly meritocratic (with each passing day, more plutocratic) country, some people end up in direly different life circumstances. I wonder if this happens because of a lifetime of risky vs. conservative decision-making, a lacking or strong social support, or a sheer difference in prioritization. 

I always want to reach out to others to help them make more financially sound and risk-aversive behaviors, but I'm always too cautious of overstepping my role as a friend, especially if I'm already known to confer judgment on those who make less-than-practical life decisions. Maybe this quality of seeming judgmental keeps people from being honest with me, which makes me realize that I must not always strike the proper tone. 

How do you help the friends in your life without overstepping your boundaries?



  • 1

    I have the same kind of friend, my former roommate live a poor life.
    I try to help him but I don't want to enter into the game of I know what is good for you since it would be condescendant.

    Martin tissier avatar Martin tissier | Mar 30, 2019 22:16:59
    • 1

      @martintaice I understand how you feel! It makes me sad when I see my friends struggle and when they feel it's right to take on the burden by themselves.

      Victoria Maung avatar Victoria Maung | Mar 30, 2019 22:56:54
  • 1

    @vickenstein You raise an interesting point. I try not to judge, but I have also been branded as judgmental. I suppose my latest approach is to lead by example, offer advice when asked, and hope that the people I care about eventually have the same "click" happen with mentality that happened to me.

    Brandon Wilson avatar Brandon Wilson | Mar 29, 2019 18:44:01
    • 1

      @brandonwilson That approach works best for me at the moment, but one day I'd like to be in a good enough place in my life where I can be more proactive.

      Victoria Maung avatar Victoria Maung | Mar 30, 2019 22:59:20
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