I've been feeling tired and bored over the last two weeks. Burnt-out, one could say. But it wouldn't be entirely true. I just needed some rest and some me-time to think and get some fresh air. We all have low periods throughout the year, it's just normal. There are moments where I feel like starting a business was a mistake and I would've been better off living comfortably with a stable wage.
What do I tell myself when I feel like quitting my life as a maker? I just remember what led me to this point.
Leaving college, I gave myself two choices: I could either become an employee, live frugally, and invest the majority of my income in Vanguard index funds to reach financial independence during my thirties, or I could become an entrepreneur and dedicate 100% of my time to develop skills and a brand until I can make a living or I run out of savings.
In both cases, I always wanted to make my own software products. I received the opportunity to launch my first startup with two co-founders just before graduating, and so I decided to opt for the second option. There was no need to live a deferred life.
I remember reading Paul Graham's How to Make Wealth essay right before taking my decision. I've been obsessed with time since middle school, and I was afraid that working in a company after a six-month internship as a software consultant would slow down my personal growth by locking me up in patterns and cognitive boxes. I barely know who I am and what I want, entrepreneurship was a way to start figuring it out: it's only when you're free to do whatever you want you can focus on what deeply attracts you, at the most primal level.
I'm grateful for where I am today, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. A maker, this is who I am at the core. I have to accept I'm just a human: I'll always experience periods of doubts no matter what I do, but those are temporary. Take the time to live, but be relentless and rigorous when you decide to act: ostinato rigore.