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Jun 27, 2019 15:11:40

On touch

by @timsubiaco PATRON | 417 words | 73🔥 | 149💌

Tim Subiaco

Current day streak: 73🔥
Total posts: 149💌
Total words: 56794 (227 pages 📄)

Theo's eyes rolled in his head and the bumping of the train elicited stranger and stranger sounds from his open mouth. His head rested on my shoulder but since he is quite a bit bigger than I am his entire body seemed to cave over me like a medieval ruin that has been on the verge of collapsing for the past four hundred years.

The family opposite us just stared. I assumed they were folks from the country on a trip to the city since they were all wearing bright but hideous checkered shirts, the father, the mother and the two boys. I have yet to encounter something so disrupting to my psyche as an ill-fitting short sleeved checkered shirt, four in a row in varying colours and intensity was particularly disturbing. So they sat there like Christmas presents. The mother whispered to the boys not to stare. "This is what happens when you take drugs", I imagined her saying. The father glanced away in politeness.

Was it the weight of expectation or was it just Theo that was crushing me? I don't know. I closed my eyes tight, trying to block out the needling pain that follows sleep deprivation. In the blinding morning light, the memory of Cassie silhouetted by the flames became so far fetched that I had to will myself back into the memory.

Sometimes it really be like that. Sometimes one keeps a memory like a secret room in a house where one can disappear into and bask in the reconstructed feelings. But my room felt thin and translucent.

With something like sight or smell, you can really hold onto them in your mind. I guess it's because it requires some processing before it's actually embedded as a memory. Everything you see has to go through your eyes and everything you smell through your nose. Those organs somehow synthesise the world to something the brain can understand.

But touch. Oh, touch. The entire body is a receptor, and an immediate and unthinking one at that. I could very clearly picture Cassie in the flames and rising smell of the mud but I could not recreate the pressure of her lips on mine nor the softness of her hands. I feel like touch bypasses the brain and hits you in the heart but that also means the poor brain doesn't really stand a chance of recreating it. But I guess the flipside is that the heart does, in it's own weird and inarticulable way.

From Tim Subiaco's collection:

  • 1

    @timsubiaco OMG... you are back!!! I have missed that?!?!?!?!
    I am so happy! I must say, that I have missed you really very much! The vacuum has never closed... <3

    Lucjah avatar Lucjah | Jul 07, 2019 12:23:23
    • 1

      @lucjah thank you. I have missed your posts as well. I kept up with most of them in my time 'away' ;)

      Had to recharge but I think I have some direction now.

      Tim Subiaco avatar Tim Subiaco | Jul 07, 2019 12:35:45
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      @timsubiaco oh... I thought you were gone "gone", so you were a temporary ghost :-)))
      well, right now I am making the catching up much easier, as I keep posting "in private" as I have a very personal project right now...
      "I have some direction now" sounds exciting!
      and... again... I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU :D

      Lucjah avatar Lucjah | Jul 07, 2019 14:38:40
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    @timsubiaco

    WELCOME BACK! i HAVEN'T EVEN READ THIS. i JUST WANTED TO WELCOME OU BACK CAUSE I GOT SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU ON THE LIST. i'll read it later though.

    Sir Abe avatar Sir Abe | Jun 27, 2019 15:18:23
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      @timsubiaco

      @keni Tim is actually back now.

      Sir Abe avatar Sir Abe | Jun 27, 2019 15:18:50
    • 1

      @abrahamKim :) I feel the love!

      Tim Subiaco avatar Tim Subiaco | Jun 27, 2019 15:19:47
    • 1

      @abrahamKim it's good to be back.

      Tim Subiaco avatar Tim Subiaco | Jun 27, 2019 15:20:07
    • 1

      @timsubiaco @abrahamKim - Welcome back Tim. :)

      Keni avatar Keni | Jun 27, 2019 10:25:51
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