On relationships and equal investment

A relationship can't possibly be in balance at all times. As time goes on, especially, one person will be more invested than another. The milestones aren't a great measure either. A 5 year anniversary, a wedding, a child all have different weights to them. These things also don't necessarily make a relationship less likely to end.

How would you measure investment? And how do you compare it? Most importantly, is it useful?

Last night, we talked about moving cities. He was making sure that neither of us would be left treading water if we ended, somehow. He is pragmatic that way.

I know that if we ended, it would probably have to be initiated by him.

For me, life is simpler if I know my long game. He is part of it. I know that my long game may change. I just know that, for now, if I have a say in how my life goes, it will involve him.

I find this a stark contrast to 10 years ago. I was constantly seeking some sort of reassurance from my first boyfriend that we were both in it.

Now, I know I'm in it. I know he sees the possibility and that's enough.

Life with an open palm. Loving with as little expectation as I can manage.

It could all end tomorrow. I remain grateful for any time I get with him. For the bedtime Pratchett readings. For the sporatic affectionate messages. For the moment I have now. And maybe the next.