We are constantly co-creating moments.
Even you, now. I've created my bit--I've written these words--and whatever you bring to your reading of the words is part of creating your own experience.
I'm so quick to try to fix discomfort. I'm quite good at fixing. But sometimes that's not the point.
Yes, by all means, fix the structural issues. If you can set expectations and adjust your own, do it.
But when expectations aren't met, however that shows up, the next step isn't necessarily to fix the expectations system. Sometimes it's to feel what comes up.
He interrupted me while I was doing something that took my full attention. I can see that he didn't understand that he was interrupting. I can see that I could have set expectations differently. But the next step is not to fix those things. The next step is to feel the feelings. I feel upset that a boundary as been crossed. I feel afraid because a piece of my routine isn't the way it was meant to be. I feel what I feel. And then I go and talk about the structural problems: AirPods are invisible behind long hair, elements of working from home require uninterrupted time.
I'm currently wearing a hat. Why? To signal that I'm in do not disturb mode.