We seem to get so annoyed at ourselves when we care about other people think.
That's like being annoyed at ourselves for wanting to eat.
We're a tribal species. Those who are rejected by the tribe have to leave the village and fend for themselves. We haven't forgotten. Rejection means death. Most of the people who exist today are the descendants of many lines of people who were acceptable enough by their tribe that they weren't cast out.
So when we care about what other people think, it means that internal social systems are working.
Sometimes it's not useful, I agree.
I think that knowing that the reason we care so much is important.
I care about what he thinks because rejection means death. When I walk in, I know that all of my alarm bells are going off because this feels like potential rejection. So if I want to say what I want to say, that means that I have to withstand the alarm bells. I can do that.
It doesn't seem to matter if it's a room full of strangers or an acquaintance with some beef or a family member who is annoyed, the same alarm bells ring. It's up to us to decide when to listen and when to withstand.