It was the point that I realised where I would get myself if I kept doing all of the things that I was doing.
Logically, it makes sense. But, until that point, it had remained a blurry concept.
And it had just snapped into focus.
It took a while to make that moment happen.
I remember the key ingredient: hope.
Getting healthy had felt impossible. Until I was OK that it might take years.
The alternative was to stay smoking, sedentary, and subsisting on takeaway food.
Even if it took the whole rest of my life, the pursuit felt worthwhile to me.
There was another key ingredient for that moment: clear next steps.
I learned to cook a few months before deciding to get healthy.
I had started going to the gym with my partner and heading to the dance house once per week.
If I hadn't had those things in place, I wouldn't have found the clear next steps.
Instead, they were clear: learn about the kind of eating that had worked so well for my mum (keto), apply that learning, go to the gym and the dance house more frequently.
I stopped smoking.
So far I've lost 10 of 15 kgs.
I eat close to 10x more vegetables than I used to.
I'm only partway on the journey but I know I've already arrived.