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Mar 07, 2019 14:13:31

My ode to pizza

by @brandonwilson PATRON | 582 words | 376🔥 | 376💌

Brandon Wilson

Current day streak: 376🔥
Total posts: 376💌
Total words: 125668 (502 pages 📄)

So of course @jasonleow had to pick the topic of pizza, my favorite food and sadly the food I will have to give up as I embark on a journey to change my diet and improve my health. 

I have liked pizza ever since I can remember. It started as a treat when I did not control the food supply, but I started to eat it more and more when left to my own devices. In seventh grade, the school cafeteria served those rectangular pizzas every day as an option. Of course I had pizza every single day along with the occasional nutty bar and chocolate milk.

I grew up in Indiana and for some reason the best Pizza Huts in the US are in Indiana. I know because I have tried them all over the country. In high school, I could devour an entire medium Meat Lovers pizza with a side of ranch dressing of course. 

In college there was always one pizza place that delivered on campus and accepted the meal cards that my roommate and I both had due to scholarships. During one particularly gluttonous stretch, he and I took turns ordering Papa John's pizzas for a straight seventeen days in a row. Large pizza, pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese. Also, throw in an order of breadsticks with cheese dipping sauce.

I'll take pizza pretty much anyway I can get it. Frozen is fine. What do I want on my Tombstone? Pepperoni and sausage please. Don't forget the parmesan and the crushed red pepper. I'll take take deep dish, pan, a true Chicago-style stuffed pizza, thin crust cut into squares, cheese stuffed into the crust, Neapolitan style, NY style, you name it. Wood-fired, coal-brick oven, fire it up! Eat by hand, cut it up and eat it with a fork, fold it, or wrap it all up and call it a calzone. I'm game!

For the most part there is no bad pizza other than perhaps Little Caesar's or Peter Piper Pizza. I am happy with virtually all meat toppings, but when you start getting weird like adding pineapple or anchovies I'm out. Also, don't talk to me about something called a cauliflower crust pizza. 

Here is a phenomenon that exists in every office I have worked at. When there is a pizza party, invariably the ordering of the pizzas is lopsided. There are always too many of the pizzas only a few people like and not enough of the pizzas most everyone eats. No kidding one time there were twelve pizzas: 5 veggie, 3 cheese, 1 mushroom, 1 pepperoni, 1 sausage. What is that??

Some final observations. Wow it's scary how fast I was able to churn this out reminiscing about my love of pizza. Clearly with my track record of eating it should be no surprise that it finally caught up to me. I guess the real surprise is that it took this long.

Anyway, pizza, we need to break up for awhile. I'm hoping it's not a permanent break up. I'm going to travel the path of extreme low carb and see how my health improves. Hopefully my intolerance to carbs improves somewhat allowing for an occasional slice or two. 

Until we meet again, keep the bottom crust crispy, the outer crust doughy, the crust-to-topping ratio appropriate, the cheese gooey, the toppings plentiful, and keep that ranch dressing on ice.

From Brandon Wilson's collection:

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    Pizza is an awesome celebration food. I think people should celebrate with it. But I am morally against its ubiquity though. I hate that people treat it like an actual dinner that they can just order and feed to themselves and their families. like fuck you! And so fuck jeff bezos and his 2 pizzas idea. Pizza is like beer. It shouldn't be a meal. It should be a treat.

    Abe avatar Abe | Mar 28, 2019 15:45:45
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    @brandonwilson 17 days pizza streak?! ?Wow you REALLY LOVE pizza mate!

    Jason Leow avatar Jason Leow | Mar 08, 2019 19:59:39
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    @brandonwilson - I am not that much of a pizza fanatic but thanks to your post, I am now hungry for one.

    I have experimented with fathead dough, cauliflower and almond crusts. Not having the same type of carb filled crust does make a difference but I have been pretty happy with the last few times I made a low carb pizza. So many recipes online nowadays with Keto taking over. I recommend experimenting with some.

    Keni avatar Keni | Mar 07, 2019 22:54:08
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      @keni Thanks for the suggestions. I'm at the stage now where I know all the foods I'm going to give up, but I am ignorant about all the foods I'll be able to have. It will be an adjustment but I'm jumping in with both feet.

      Brandon Wilson avatar Brandon Wilson | Mar 08, 2019 07:39:06
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      @brandonwilson - Lol I see it... This was an eulogy for pizza.

      Keni avatar Keni | Mar 08, 2019 11:02:42
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    @brandonwilson "don't talk to me about something called a cauliflower crust pizza" Hilarious!! :) Although, this could be a way for you to enjoy pizza while still sticking to the low carb diet. Give it a try ;)

    Julia Saxena avatar Julia Saxena | Mar 08, 2019 08:38:04
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    @brandonwilson "he and I took turns ordering Papa John's pizzas for a straight seventeen days in a row" that's a long day streak! glad you didn't let it live

    Basile Samel avatar Basile Samel | Mar 07, 2019 22:40:37
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      @basilesamel I look back at that time period with equal parts fondness and shame. :)

      Brandon Wilson avatar Brandon Wilson | Mar 07, 2019 14:42:07
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