For three days yet I have a strange feeling in my neck and throat. This feeling is similar to suffocation, but I can breathe, it feels like someone chokes you. I don't love suffocation and when someone chokes me (except some situations haha). It's a very scary feeling.
This feeling makes me panic because it reminds me of the panic attacks that were in my life some time ago.
I do not have a wish to write today. To be honest, I don't want anything, I don't want to be awake, I don't want to sleep, I don't want tomorrow, I don't want today. Nothing makes me happy even when something good happens. I don't love days when I can't be happy, because I feel apathy everywhere in every millimeter of everything. But these days good for working, because nothing distracts me.
I am a depressive person, to be honest. I am a person who can't smoke even one cigarette, because it's the most boring activity in the universe. I don't love boredom. I need somebody or something (reminds me Korn's song "Somebody someone") that will entertain me. Now I can't entertain yourself.
Everything is so boring except of my dreams and needs.