I think my writing might be getting worse, “heh”. I believe the cause of it is that I’m trying to write to an audience, which makes we “try to impress”. As an “unknown to me” great Zen master once said; “Don’t write to an audience, write it to the great sky!” So I’ll fall back to that.
Today I have felt a lot of joy in just being. On my way to work, I got two small epiphanies which contributed to that.
The Practice of aimlessness is the practice of freedom.
If all things are emptiness (No feelings attached to it, in its absolute truth) then so am I. And therefore I am not separate, I am the same.
This was quite cool, when it hit me I just froze. Life can be so pleasant if you try to let go of your grip on it. The past couple of days I have let my expectations of the future go to a halt. Not giving any time to contemplating that. It has been so freeing, for I can finally begin to live in the present. To my “somewhat” of a surprise I’m still doing the stuff that is good for me;
Finding ways to grow
The thing is, they are just habits, I don’t have to force any of these to happen. So even if I have let go of the future, I still work toward it in the present.
I have been so afraid to let go of my expectations for the future because I believed it would make me lazy or ambitions. To my total amazement, I persevere, and it’s not a fight anymore, I am actually living.