I feel silly that I ever loved Jeannie Hammond, but I don't feel silly for still feeling some way about her. I guess I'm a little hard on my past self. I'm always bashing that person,why were you this way and that? and yet, I'm so comfortable with who I am today. How does that work?
I just know that today after all these years I still love Jeannie Hammond, or maybe I love her even more now that I feel like I understand her. But we haven't spoken in years. So it's not that I love her, but who she was back then. But I hate my past self for loving her... but this is because that person didn't know her as I do now.
Back then, Jeannie Hammond was art. Because the other girls resembled characters on TV or musicians. But there was no Jeannie around, or at least I thought. Once I went off to college, I learned that there were Jeannie Hammonds everywhere. She wasn't special. My taste in media had just been piss poor. But I still couldn't shake the feeling I had, of being in front of art. Being in front of somebody who wasn't represented in the media canon. Someone so unique.