It's another of these days. Need to put on my best garments to look professional expert in front of a new client. Faking as it were like this how I dress casually.
At the same time my confidence in my technical competence shows cracks. What if they ask something I don't know? I fear I'm an imposter.
Funnily enough, these two things seem to cancel each other out. While I'm pretending to look like the expert that I am I don't worry about my actual knowledge.
So in a way it makes me an actual imposter more than I have ever been, but faking something that I actually am. I'm just filling myself while showing others who I really am. By pretending I don't feel like I'm pretending.
I wish I would have realized this already a long time ago.nit would have made so many situations so much easier. Even now, despite having this new found confidence I still feel nervous, just out of old habit more than for any actual reason. A learned habit I'm sure I can unlearn. I'm sure there will be a lot of possibilities to practise it in the future, so I'm confident it won't take too long as long as I remember to focus on it.