We're scared to be wrong.
I'm currently trying to get on top of my money behaviours. This isn't the first time in my life but this is the first time where I've actually sort of believed that it's possible.
Part of it is facing reality. Actually looking at the numbers and looking at what it will take to pay things down.
Part of it is facing the feelings about that reality. My income fluctuates. I accept that. I don't have much in savings. I accept that. My partner has a heap of savings and no debt. I accept that.
Each one of these and more have required a lot of work. There are many feelings of insufficiency the stupidity, not enough-ness, anger. I accept that.
And now I get to do the next bit. Figure out what I want. Envision the future. Pull it back to the next 12 months.
I've spent the last 2 days doing that.
It was terrifying.
In the past, I've been so untrustworthy.
Doing this means that I'm trusting myself to pull it off, or at least give it a go.
And that feels scary.
It feels scary to hope because it might not go how I think it will.
But I've run the numbers.
And...it's not ridiculously impossible.
To get an emergency fund for my current comfort levels, to pay all the cards off, to save up to move countries next year.
I'm still scared. But now I know what I need to do.
And I kind of believe that I can do it.