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Jun 08, 2019 04:35:36

Happy wife, happy life?

by @vickenstein | 249 words | 🐣 | 218💌

Victoria Maung

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A longstanding trend, but something I'm paying increasing attention to, is the idea that the wife is always right. The happiness of the household is contingent on the happiness of the female partner. This does injustice for expectations in relationships, for both the male and female. (One of the fraught cons of heteronormative relationships). 

The Jonas Brothers released a song in their new Happiness Begins album called "Love Her," and one line states "No matter the fight you know she's always right." The movie I watched last night, Always Be My Maybe, ends with Marcus willing to adapt his whole life to be with Sasha because she needed someone who understood and could accommodate her jetsetting life.

To me, this perpetuates the trope of women as intolerable, insufferably miserable, and emotionally driven that need to be appeased by their partner. Not only does it lead to entitlement and subtle infantilization, this concept almost suggests there's a lack of agency over our own happiness. To women, I can imagine that the "happy wife, happy life" narrative also paints a shitbrush over men as a whole--that they're unconditionally wrong, which shouldn't be the case. Relationships should be founded on the idea that two adults are compatibly competent and able to make adult decisions and compromises without resorting to traditional gender stereotypes.

I mean, this isn't a thorough analysis as much as an observation and my two-cents, but I think we could do less of this "happy wife, happy life" joking around.

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    Three cheers for this post. Nothing else left to say.

    Abe avatar Abe | Jun 08, 2019 22:52:22
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      @abrahamKim glad you can sympathize!

      Victoria Maung avatar Victoria Maung | Jun 09, 2019 05:16:04
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    @vickenstein - to give perspective - maybe these groups are mostly trying to appeal to the people who spend $$. A rational, thoughtful, considerate person who sees the idiocy in the phrase is also probably not pulling out their credit card without a little forethought. All that to say, behavior is often incentive driven.

    Brian Ball avatar Brian Ball | Jun 07, 2019 20:02:10
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      @brianball that makes sense--wouldn't surprise me if this became a thing because of advertising, like the ridiculous diamond industry's "three-month's salary for an engagement ring" marketing-turned-dogma.

      But I also understand that in the past and some cultures / circumstances today, marriages are still transactional, either overtly (dowry) or subtly (my grandma's concern with my partner was whether or not he comes from a family with money).

      Victoria Maung avatar Victoria Maung | Jun 09, 2019 05:15:46
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      @vickenstein - consider that maybe they should be. ( just as a thought experiment ).

      Brian Ball avatar Brian Ball | Jun 09, 2019 10:10:40
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