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Apr 17, 2019 07:26:38


by @twizzle PATRON | 338 words | 228🔥 | 236💌


Current day streak: 228🔥
Total posts: 236💌
Total words: 82822 (331 pages 📄)

I try to practice gratitude but find it very hard.

I have read about the benefits of doing this, concentrating on positive thinking, being appreciative for what you have around you, even the smallest things like being able to drink this warm tea whilst I type.

However, it takes dedication to do this and I often feel myself get derailed and sometimes in the blink of an eye.

A family member is opening a shop nearby soon and I know he will make a massive success of it, but my good feelings are tinged with worry that he will fail.  I want to be able to tell him that I am proud of him and that I am happy that he has been able to make this opportunity for himself, but always feel myself counteracting my good feelings with bad omens.

I also get similar feelings when driving.  I see someone coming towards me in a nice new car with a personalised numberplate and my heart sinks.  This feeling is because I am comparing myself to them and that I will never be in a position where I could get a car like that, be as successful as them or have as much success and money.

I sometimes try to think about how I can be grateful that they are in that position.  I guess it is easier to be grateful that I can drive too, that my car is not a total hunk of junk and that I can afford fuel to go where I want.  But it is hard work and does seem counter-intuitive.

We do compare ourselves to others too much in this modern society.  We are constantly thinking about how others look compared to us, how much better they might be than us, what better holidays, better houses, clothes and cars they have and how much of a better life they have.  This is a natural feeling and I am sure we have all done it to some extent.  But it is all bollocks!

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    @twizzle You really start to appreciate the things you have when you lose them. I started to be grateful and appreciate simple things like having a bed when I had to sleep on the floor. That's why being grateful is such an exercise, because you can't truly give value to the things you have if you have always had them. If you are dealing and struggling with this kind of thoughts I recommend that you read about Stoicism and its philosophy (If you haven't yet).

    Manuel Rodriguez avatar Manuel Rodriguez | Apr 17, 2019 15:52:20
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      @manuelrodriguez Thanks Manuel. I did start to read Seneca once, when I was trying the habit of getting up stupidly early and doing some reading (as well as exercise, writing and meditation).
      It didn't really "gel" with me, but I know people like Tim Ferris always sing the praises of Stoicism. I will take another look and see what I can find that is easy to read and absorb - unless you can recommend anything>

      Twizzle avatar Twizzle | Apr 17, 2019 15:21:43
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      @twizzle instead of reading Seneca or any other stoic author (which books are sometimes hard to read and understand), try to read "The Daily Stoic" by Ryan Holiday. It's a simple way of learning about that philosophy by reading brief reflections and meditations about specific and valuable texts of all the main stoic authors.

      Manuel Rodriguez avatar Manuel Rodriguez | Apr 17, 2019 16:51:51
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    @twizzle I know what you mean. I'm grateful but sometimes a day I catch myself comparing myself to others. I hate when I do that as it almost always set's me in a bad mood.
    But as you wrote, it's natural and sure we all have done it.
    The real truth is, everybody cooks with water (does that metaphor work in English? I think so :) ).

    Philipp Haidenbauer avatar Philipp Haidenbauer | Apr 17, 2019 10:15:20
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      @phaidenbauer It is definitely a sign of my depression and a trigger for me too. I have always felt quite worthless, useless and ineffective as a human, despite having a family, well paying job, house, car, savings etc. I just feel like I should be "more" than I am and should be more successful or happy.
      Humm - perhaps that is it... it is that I am not as happy as I think I should be.

      Twizzle avatar Twizzle | Apr 17, 2019 12:51:32
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      @twizzle I'm sorry to hear that, but if you know your triggers it's the best way to fight against them :). I'm sure you will be better over time!

      Philipp Haidenbauer avatar Philipp Haidenbauer | Apr 17, 2019 14:20:57
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