I try to practice gratitude but find it very hard.
I have read about the benefits of doing this, concentrating on positive thinking, being appreciative for what you have around you, even the smallest things like being able to drink this warm tea whilst I type.
However, it takes dedication to do this and I often feel myself get derailed and sometimes in the blink of an eye.
A family member is opening a shop nearby soon and I know he will make a massive success of it, but my good feelings are tinged with worry that he will fail. I want to be able to tell him that I am proud of him and that I am happy that he has been able to make this opportunity for himself, but always feel myself counteracting my good feelings with bad omens.
I also get similar feelings when driving. I see someone coming towards me in a nice new car with a personalised numberplate and my heart sinks. This feeling is because I am comparing myself to them and that I will never be in a position where I could get a car like that, be as successful as them or have as much success and money.
I sometimes try to think about how I can be grateful that they are in that position. I guess it is easier to be grateful that I can drive too, that my car is not a total hunk of junk and that I can afford fuel to go where I want. But it is hard work and does seem counter-intuitive.
We do compare ourselves to others too much in this modern society. We are constantly thinking about how others look compared to us, how much better they might be than us, what better holidays, better houses, clothes and cars they have and how much of a better life they have. This is a natural feeling and I am sure we have all done it to some extent. But it is all bollocks!