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Feb 14, 2019 01:54:54

Frozen, but not in time

by @vickenstein | 267 words | 🐣 | 218πŸ’Œ

Victoria Maung

Current day streak: 0🐣
Total posts: 218πŸ’Œ
Total words: 55041 (220 pages πŸ“„)

Yesterday morning, the snow fell incessantly. 

For the remainder of the day, a wintry mix pelted that freshly fallen snow.

The result? Soft, fluffy snow--at least that's what it looked like. The deceptively innocent-looking snow was all crunchy ice.

Unfortunately, my apartment community doesn't do an excellent job ensuring that the sidewalks and roads are safe. My walks outside this winter have been rather precarious because of the ice. This winter has been quite long indeed.

But like all things, it'll come to a pass. People often ask me why I relocated from sunny California (not really, since San Francisco's main weather is foggy) to the Northeast. I always respond with because I love the novelty of having four distinct seasons. 

It's because the seasons represent the passage of time. They are a persistent reminder that different experiences exist in distinct windows of time, encouraging me to take advantage of the today. (No ice on the walkways on this unseasonal 35-degree day? Time for a run!)

I feel like human desire reflects the vacuum in our lives. When it's summer, I want the snow. In the winter, I want the sun. I want what I can't have, but when weather is out of our control, cultivating a mental flexibility is the only way to be happy. As a matter of fact, sometimes it's easier to have my decisions made for me (the only outdoor sport to do? ski/snowboard!). This hearkens to the homesteading or small town cultures that enjoy the few pleasures they have, whether it's football or the annual jazz festival. 

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    @vickenstein <<experiences exist in distinct windows of time>> I love that sentence!
    Thats so true that we take things for granted, as if they were to be in our reach for ever, and so, so very often, we do not value them, neglect them...
    There is this moment in the movie The Hours, when Meryl Streep's character says:
    <<I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.>>
    It moves me. I wish I remembered it more often, when I disregard something that it too easy and too simple to be takes with due respect and awe...

    Lucjah avatar Lucjah | Feb 14, 2019 20:39:52
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      @lucjah Thank you :) That's a beautiful quote. I'll need to watch that movie! Winter definitely brings about moments for retrospection

      Victoria Maung avatar Victoria Maung | Feb 15, 2019 02:07:10
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      I just remembered another one! It's from the movie "The Sheltering Sky", words by Paul Bowles:

      β€œDeath is always on the way, but the fact that you don't know when it will arrive seems to take away from the finiteness of life. It's that terrible precision that we hate so much. But because we don't know, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.”

      These two quotes, no matter how many times I read them, shutter my heart...
      They express such unwelcome, sad, limitless truth about human life.
      (I'm going to share it here with @philh <3
      (it's ok I hope :-)

      Lucjah avatar Lucjah | Feb 15, 2019 09:50:53
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      @vickenstein @lucjah Thank you. I love the quotes, I hear the sadness (saudade?) of the latter, while I can't help thinking that the finite scope of our life makes it possible to feel something described in the former. Without boundaries, however unconscious, our future might appear as a cursed, barren land. Maybe.

      PhilH avatar PhilH | Feb 15, 2019 11:23:00
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      @lucjah @philh the quote reminds me of my dad telling me that he only saw his mom less than ten more times after he left his home country. When I moved to the east coast, he was wondering how many more times he'd see me before he passes away (he's counting down his lifespan from 5,000 days, haha).

      Victoria Maung avatar Victoria Maung | Feb 15, 2019 21:22:43
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      @vickenstein Yes... its so hard for me to face my mortality.. well, i think i flatly REFUSE

      Lucjah avatar Lucjah | Feb 15, 2019 21:52:21
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