Hi, I'm back, I guess or at least trying to. I found that there's no other world that I am comfortable aside from my personal blog which was found out by others so yes, I'm trying to be back and appreciate my emotions once again by expressing it here.
One of my fears is actually, people. I used to live in a cage, not the one that is filthy and troublesome, but the one that is conservative and traditional. We were taught not to talk too much on strangers, most especially boys when we were young, so my routine only includes going to school, reading books and going to Church. We do not engage in conversations too, so it was hard for me to go out at first.
The first time I went to a supermarket, I got cautious of the people surrounding me. Why? I felt that they were looking at me and have hidden intentions against me. Not that I had any kind of bad experience, but I think my perception was also influenced by the books I read about the realities of people and the truth I see about them in the television at a very young age.
It's the main reason why I don't feel comfortable when someone is looking at me, noticing me or making me the center of attention. Is there something I can do to overcome this fear? I can deal with a lot of people, but not the spotlight. Or I just have to respect my own temperament while trying to blend in when there's a need? Apart from the experiences I had, I could get easily drained too by people, so maybe my past and my personality is really a great match.