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Dec 10, 2018 12:41:38

Do Not Hesitate To Reject

by @wernminlim | 360 words | 🐣 | 85💌

Gene Lim

Current day streak: 0🐣
Total posts: 85💌
Total words: 22311 (89 pages 📄)

There are always this person in a group or a team that has a good kind heart. He would do whatever anyone ask of him. To carry the box someone, to send someone to work, to wait for someone to finish groceries, to teach someone. This person is very kind.

Being kind is nothing wrong, but being too kind has its side effect. People will eventually take the kindness for granted and keep on asking him to do whatever for them. I have been in this situation before. 

In work, I was asked to handle a project which requires certain skill set that I do not have. So, I have to find some time to learn it by myself. In the end it is for my own advantage that I have gain new knowledge by learning. 

After doing this for sometime, I will have to teach someone to take over my part. It is fine with me to teach anyone who wants to learn. In fact, I love teaching people. Sharing knowledges are good, especially knowing that the people actually learned from me.

So, as you can see, there is nothing wrong with that. But the bad side of it will appear once the person keeps on asking you on the 'What and Why' questions. Some are really simple that they could just search online and some are really difficult that even me myself wouldn't know the answer to it. I will still have to 'Google' the answer. Because of me being too kind in this situation, there will be people who will take me for granted like I am their personal 'Google'.

My main mistake here was the way I teach. I shouldn't have given them answers word by word but to teach them on how I actually find the answers. I have now learn to say 'No' too in certain cases. It may seem wrong or unkind, but this is life. We shouldn't spoon feed everyone with answers but teach them the way to find the answers. By this way, they will eventually thank you in the future for showing them the right path.

  • 1

    @wernminlim
    2 observations.
    1) Make "no" your default answer.
    2) Get in the habit of documentING or screen recording what you do so you can pass on your knowledge to others.

    Mark Armstrong avatar Mark Armstrong | Dec 11, 2018 03:58:44
    • 1

      Trying to get used to saying 'No' for the right reason. I have not thought about documenting/recording what I do, this could be a good idea!

      Besides, I think 200wad is indirectly a documentation of my journey ?

      Gene Lim avatar Gene Lim | Dec 12, 2018 12:42:46
  • 1

    @wernminlim An agreeable person has a hard time saying no to others, but as you say, it's something one can learn.

    Basile Samel avatar Basile Samel | Dec 10, 2018 17:41:52
    • 1

      @basilesamel If it benefits someone, I guess I should be proud of myself for that too.

      Gene Lim avatar Gene Lim | Dec 12, 2018 12:45:25
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    @wernminlim I totally understand what it's like to feel like a crutch! it's certainly a challenge to establish a right balance of expectations as a teacher. How do you still teach while suggesting that a lot of the personal learning process is self-initiated without students feeling like you're "not teaching them anything"? Maybe by telling them that you're there for mostly guidance? A tough question that I'm sure you'll figure out. Keep us updated!

    Victoria Maung avatar Victoria Maung | Dec 10, 2018 14:09:12
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      @vickenstein I am not a real teacher, I just trying to relay to them what I've learned. You are right! 'Guidance' is the word I am looking for. To guide them on the right path instead of fully spoon feeding every answer.

      Gene Lim avatar Gene Lim | Dec 12, 2018 12:52:40
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