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Jun 18, 2019 05:00:04

Asking the wrong questions.

by @brianball PATRON | 287 words | 391💌

Brian Ball

Total posts: 391💌
Total words: 107882 (431 pages 📄)

If you're talking to somebody and they can't help you, you're asking the wrong questions of the wrong person. Or, simply asking the wrong questions.


Can you help me?


"Yes, I can help you." 


Great, I want to exchange this product for a different one.


"Oh, we don't do exchanges."


I see. Thank you. 


At this point, an experienced asker can detect the unwillingness to help immediately after the person said they could help.

They didn't even notice what they just did. That means low awareness. Low awareness people won't be resourceful. 


A highly trained and highly resourced person doesn't respond with: "We can't do that." ever. The worst case scenario might be a slow down in the conversation and a response of something like. "Sir, I don't know how to do that, but my goal here is to make sure you leave feeling good about our organization. Would you give me a couple of minutes to get more information?"


This person has been trained to say, what Improv comedians use as their goto skill: Yes and.

Yes. and... means you don't ever say no. "No" or a variation of it is a deal killer. It stops the action. You affirm the offer and figure out a way to re-frame it so you can take action on it.


If you ever notice you are interacting with an un-resourceful person, you can help them. Help by asking more questions. 


What is their experience? 

What have they been able to do for others? 

What is currently working? 


The answers to these questions will help you become a better asker and you can quickly follow up with a better ask once you get a clue as to what might work.

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