You must be lucky, you still feel sadness and pain. The most dangerous feeling of all is emptiness.
That hollow touch of emptiness that drains you energy to do things you used to love; that which signals no better tomorrow; and that which makes you believe life is a meaningless joke.
Some days, that empty feeling just come knocking at my door. If I am not careful, it would sit with me like a steady companion through thick and thin. Sometimes, it makes me want to throw everything all away ㅡ my dreams, my hobbies, and my life.
Frankly speaking, the pain associated with emptiness is not that kind of hurt that makes you want to cry your tears out. It is simply a numb sensation of being sick of the pain and life in general. And I wonder, how many people are feeling this way too? It could be a friend, a co-worker, or my sister, or that stranger who I passed by yesterday from work. Nobody knows for sure.
Last year, my friend was anxiety. I do not miss it, and I'm glad I got rid of it. It nearly ruined my life.
This year, I do not know how my relationship with emptiness will be, and I am not sure how many times it will visit me.
All I know is my emotional tool kit is ready though:
🔴Inhale and exhale
🔴Live in the moment
🔴Let it be
🔴Write it out
🔴Listen to Music
🔴Take a cold shower
🔴Read a book
And if all else fails, I'd just lay on the bed and bear it like an old man.
Youth always tries to fill the void, an old man learns to live with it.
- Mark Z. Danielewski
Yaki writes and makes artworks about anything that interests her. She's one of those people who think that the second law of thermodynamics is a bit depressing, although she claims to be contributing to entropy since birth. She likes hunting and playing around with not-yet-mainstream, privacy-oriented apps. On her spare time, she likes laying down and consuming non-fiction books.
Connect with her on Telegram: @sifuyaki
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