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Dec 30, 2018 13:36:20

Always Alone, Never Lonely

by @basilesamel PATRON | 239 words | 210🔥 | 228💌

Basile Samel

Current day streak: 210🔥
Total posts: 228💌
Total words: 93751 (375 pages 📄)

Yesterday I went to a Tinder date for research purpose.

It struck me how easy it is to socialize nowadays.

You can travel alone far from your own country and still connect with people whenever you feel like it. The culture might be different, but all humans have the same basic needs for friendship, love, and happiness. All it takes is for us to overcome the invisible social barriers built in our minds.

We will die alone. We are always alone, but it doesn't mean we have to feel lonely.

I'm a big introvert, but I can switch on my inner extrovert from time to time. I end up drained the next day and it takes some alone time to refill the energy. Still, it expands my comfort zone.

One thing I believed in for a long time is that when you travel you can't make meaningful connections.

I think this is partially wrong because you can learn to create meaning from the simplest conversations. When you are authentic and genuinely curious about someone, you end up asking the right questions that will lead to more meaningful relationships.

Loneliness is an actionable mindset.

Another interesting thing is that the more people you travel with, the less meaningful the relationships you develop. This tribe effect is toxic. It prevents social flexibility because the tribe comes first, not the others.

Don't be afraid to travel alone. Traveling alone is never lonely.

From Basile Samel's collection:

  • 1

    @basilesamel this post is almost the same with mine: https://telegra.ph/Alone-and-Happy-Very-Much-Possible-01-04

    :D

    Yaki avatar Yaki | Jan 05, 2019 14:17:28
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    @basilesamel I completely agree. I travelled alone for the first time last year and I'm an introvert too so it took me some time to push myself to socialize. I ended up having some great times with new people and that experience has made me feel like I can go anywhere alone and find meaningful connections.

    Keenen Charles avatar Keenen Charles | Dec 30, 2018 19:40:04
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      @keenencharles The "I can go anywhere alone" is such a great feeling! :) Sometimes I'm just walking in the street after a good meal and a beer on my way home when I have this dopamine rush that makes my face tingle. It's exactly this "the world is my oyster" feeling.

      Basile Samel avatar Basile Samel | Jan 01, 2019 12:42:15
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    @basilesamel I agree with your differentiation between being "alone" and being "lonely." I'm an introvert as well and grew up as an only child. I suppose this is why I am comfortable being alone and do not get feelings of loneliness (or boredom for that matter).

    Brandon Wilson avatar Brandon Wilson | Dec 30, 2018 17:23:57
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      @brandonwilson

      It's also a matter of genotypes and education I think! :)

      Some people are just born this way. I am really close to my brother, less than 2 years in age gap, but our interactions never made us extroverts.

      Some alone children end up craving for external affection and become huge extroverts as well.

      Many more social parameters to consider like how frequent was it for us to meet new people during our childhoods etc.

      Basile Samel avatar Basile Samel | Jan 01, 2019 12:51:23
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    @basilesamel
    "I went to a Tinder date for research purpose."
    haha-Good 1!
    "Research" LOL! I hope you did more than "research."

    Mark Armstrong avatar Mark Armstrong | Dec 30, 2018 13:58:07
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      @RealNegotiator It quickly shifted from theory to practice, but I'm not gonna expand on that.

      Basile Samel avatar Basile Samel | Dec 30, 2018 14:15:18
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      @basilesamel
      Good on Ya!
      For the man that created 200 WAD, any words of advice?

      Mark Armstrong avatar Mark Armstrong | Dec 30, 2018 14:24:42
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      @RealNegotiator

      It's like building companies. You gotta practice, fail a lot and see what works for yourself :P I'm just starting to get the hang of it.

      It reminds me I read this book two months ago from Camus called The Myth of Sisyphus and he talks about Don Juan and why Don Juan needs to have several partners in his life. It's because he needs a huge quantity of experiences to obtain quality experiences. I think it makes total sense!

      Basile Samel avatar Basile Samel | Dec 30, 2018 14:35:03
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