© 2019 200 Words a Day
Kipper Vam Beethoven
bwa ha ha ha
Total posts: 23 💌
Total words: 6246 (24 pages 📄)
Nov 04, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 21
What's this? Oh, I'm sorry, I tend to need something to keep my hands occupied. This is a silencer. Hmm? Yes, a silencer for a handgun. For this Beretta pistol, to be precise. Don't be alarmed. You s...
Nov 03, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Preface
Hi. Welcome. I hope you've enjoyed the party. Yes, now is still a good time to talk. You're welcome. Have a seat. I've never spoken about myself to a writer before, but, you're particularly smart and...
Sep 29, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 20
I'm sorry, what was that...? "I regressed...?" Did I say that? ...No...no, it's fine. Yeah, well, after she died I grieved. I still got hungry but often forgot to eat. There was a small stockpile of ...
Sep 24, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 19
So long story short, I established a new identity in a former Soviet republic, where these things were still simple enough given the right fixer and enough cash. I moved all my assets into a financial...
Sep 20, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 18
Thanks for the break, I needed just a few minutes there, John. How are you doing, by the way? Have you enjoyed the party? I know you came here for this, but hopefully, you were able to enjoy yourself ...
Sep 07, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 17
That year was both the most difficult and the most meaningful of my life. She suffered and I cared for her. I watched her health deteriorate and I suffered, too. Her physical pain was my emotional pai...
Aug 31, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 16
Let me skip forward a few years. Actually, let me skip forward a few decades. The early 2000s were terrible in all kinds of ways, mostly politically, but it was a pretty stellar time for me personally...
Aug 09, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 15
Ah, yes, the 90's. It was a good decade for me. I turned 40 at the start of it. We were comfortable and happy, my wife and I. We'd devised some ways to keep me healthy and not too hungry. There was Ni...
Aug 08, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 14
We took it slow. Played the long game. But long story short, we got married. I told her about my thing well before that, and she was accepting of it. She was the one who thought about raiding the Red ...
Aug 06, 2019
This story is the hardest
Taking a break from moving the most recent short fiction forward to complain about the most recent short fiction. This story started about 18 years ago. I wrote what is now parts one through four cir...
Aug 05, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 13
My arm just vibrated. Why did my arm just vibrate? Ah, shit, it's a message. I'm still not used to this subdermal shit. They're asking for me in the ballroom. Something to do with the BBQ tofu. Do you...
Aug 04, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 12
In late 1980 I had an AMC Hornet and I drove from my place on Long Island down the Jersey coast, Ocean City, and Accomack and Northampton, Virginia. When you live simply, don't have to worry about ret...
Aug 03, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 11
The worst part of living forever is every person you ever love, ever love, dies. Sure, you can sleep with who you want when you want without fear of STDs. But you fall in love, I mean ever fall in lov...
Jul 21, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 10
So I started to figure out what I was. I read a lot of literature. I mostly sought out historical accounts, but they are really hard to find. I became obsessed with certain historical figures I though...
Jul 17, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 9
I started to travel internationally. First the UK, then the Continent, and, as I mentioned, behind the Iron Curtain, although that wasn't nearly as glamorous or exciting as you might assume. I was rel...
Jul 16, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 8
After Woodstock, I determined to not miss any opportunities for adventure. I turned 20 in 1970. It was a glorious time. They wouldn't lower the drinking age until I was already 21, but it didn't matte...
Jul 15, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 7
In the summer of 1969, I was 19 years old. I had my routine but it was time-consuming and distracting. My friends were talking about how everyone was going to some kind of music thing in New York. Bet...
Jul 14, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 6
One of the problems with all the logistics that blood-dependent immortality requires is that it frequently gets in the way of the very life it supposedly gives you. While a decent student, I was too d...
Jul 12, 2019
Kipper Vam Beethoven -- Part 5
So here we are at the eve of a new century. I've survived the second half of the 20th and now, if I make it a few more hours, I will have survived all of the 21st century. Some of what they promised u...
Jun 11, 2019
By the time hair is growing on your ball sack and the liquid dripping out from under your armpits is smelling like a million locker rooms, you're having to sneak out and spend all your allowance mo...
Jun 10, 2019
Imagine puberty with not just the pizza face and the locker room dick comparison, but another, literally infinitely darker reality creeping up through your insides and out your pores and onto your ...
Jun 09, 2019
"Is Mr. Beethoven home?" asks the reporter. "That's me," you casually respond. "Uh...I'm sorry, there must be a misunderstanding. I'm from [insert your local newspaper here] and I'm here to do a piece...
Jun 08, 2019
No one considers the downside of being immortal. Everyone fears death so much that they think living forever is a great thing. Not having to worry about that whole death issue does have its a...