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Jun 19, 2019 12:00:04

why? and then, what?

by @lucjah PATRON | 209 words | 47🔥 | 324💌

Lucjah

Current day streak: 47🔥
Total posts: 324💌
Total words: 90459 (361 pages 📄)


Fuck! I am so down again... I would like to know WHY? Why is it happening, over and over again? 

My life seems so good! IT IS GOOD! It is better than lives of...what are the numbers... 80% people in the world? 73%? 95%? ("At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day"!!!). I have shelter, food, hot water, health insurance... I live in a (still) democratic country... I have wonderful relationships, husband, healthy kids and grandkids, friends... So... 

Why do I feel as if life was a constant, endless drag...

How much is it biology? Gens? My constitution? How much upbringing? Conditioning of early life? The first (second... third...) experiences, disappointments, failures? The attachment style? How much is it the mythical "negative cognitive patterns"? How much is it diet, sugar I gulp in such amounts, coffee? How much is it not enough exercise? Or regular abandoning regular meditation? How much my downs are an attempt not to face life responsibilities? Not to really grow up? How much are they evolutionary - the (only) way (I know) to let myself rest, to push away thoughts that I HAVE TO... do, help, get engaged? Do I benefit from being depressed?

HOW MUCH CAN I DO ABOUT IT? How much is beyond my power?


  • 1

    @lucjah <3

    PhilH avatar PhilH | Jun 21, 2019 08:50:29
  • 1

    @lucjah Unfortunately and obviously no easy answer to your big WHY. Methinks all you can do is deal with it and your words here are a step in the process. Best of luck...

    Jeff Riddall avatar Jeff Riddall | Jun 19, 2019 11:06:09
  • 1

    @lucjah The first step is awareness that you are feeling this way. Try to pinpoint why - it might just be that you are tired, dehydrated, hungry or any number of other things. Sometimes we just have a shit day! Get outside and have some fresh air, move, be physical and get yourself active.

    Twizzle avatar Twizzle | Jun 19, 2019 11:34:31
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    @lucjah aiiiiiii girl, get out of your routine maybe! Go out, have a nice meal perhaps! Go watch a cartoon movie, who knows? Getting out of your head right now just might be what you are craving...... tell me if it works x)

    Sara Silva avatar Sara Silva | Jun 19, 2019 06:11:03
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