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Jan 15, 2019 23:42:56

The Enchantment #12: Feeling ill

by @timsubiaco PATRON | 242 words | 🐣 | 152💌

Tim Subiaco

Current day streak: 0🐣
Total posts: 152💌
Total words: 57829 (231 pages 📄)

Sometimes I felt so shit that I could've bitten my fingers right down to my knuckles. Anxiety is a strange beast. My skin didn't feel like my own, in fact it felt like a Soviet issue woolen sweater in a sauna - I really, really just wanted to throw it off.

I grit my teeth and push my feet forwards through the snow. The sun is coming up, its soft glow illumuniating the mountain range around the city. The softest pink you can imagine that faded smoothly and imperceptibly into a cool sky blue. I'm not a believing man, but this truly was God's country.

Did I feel calm before? Is all of this just a weird longing for something that never existed?

I don't know.

But what I do know is that my insides were churning (maybe I'm hungover?). It almost felt natural to act crazy, you know, like twitching my head and looking shiftily to my sides at random intervals with intense conviction, focusing on whatever was there, a sign, a squirrel, a roma gypsy.

Once I caught myself in a terrible mental loop, reinvisioning past mistakes. The only way I could break it was to say 'fuck' under my breath (but loudly). I think I scared the girl and her tiny dog walking in front of me (why do pretty girls always have tiny dogs?) beacuse she jumped with fright and her tiny dog squirted out a tiny shit. 

From Tim Subiaco's collection:

  • 1

    @timsubiaco

    Write more words! I keep wanting to know what's happening in the story but you keep staying too much in the character(yours') mind lol!

    Abe avatar Abe | Jan 15, 2019 23:51:28
    • 1

      @abrahamKim Yep. Trying to break out of my mind -- need to move the plot forward. Maybe I'm fearful to?

      Tim Subiaco avatar Tim Subiaco | Jan 16, 2019 00:05:26
    • 1

      @timsubiaco

      Probably! I feel the same way about my plots. I just want to stay in my head because I'm scared of the plot turning out bad... this is not only in my writing but in my life! Maybe you're like this in life too??

      Abe avatar Abe | Jan 16, 2019 00:09:25
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