Rising and rising, the voices in my head bubble and break. I lie looking up at the ceiling and I can feel the sound from the street as it moves and bounces over the textures of the wall. I can feel the bedsheets weighing heavily on my body like a burial shroud. I can feel the voices rising and rising. A chorus of demons crescendo in my ears with no end and a I can do nothing but lie still and melt into the bed.
The last time I slept here I cried. I haven't cried since. That was two years ago. I went out for my birthday when I was doing my master's just before Tromsø. Lina and I were broken up and hadn't spoken for a few months. Shots were had and I felt the love. But you know, in those moments you would trade a mountain of gold for a rose. But I heard nothing from Lina.
I went out with my good friend Mo and since he lived quite far west I said he could crash at mine. He knew that there was something wrong but I just took to my side of the bed and curled up like a child. He fell asleep pretty quick, or at least he pretended he did.
And the voices are shouting in their tongues. Strange how we can feel so much and so little at the same time. Maybe I should meditate. That would help.
Then my phone vibrates and a portal of light opens from my bedside table.
I resist and feel every fibre of my body tense from my neck to my feet.
"Hey, sorry I have been so bad at replying... been so busy! Do you want to meet tomorrow?"
I let this bitch know that I'm not some random guy she can call upon and wait a full five minutes before saying yes, I would love to.