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Jul 12, 2019 20:39:44

Secretly wish two other people to be happy

by @5plus6 | 238 words | ๐Ÿฃ | 239๐Ÿ’Œ


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The day before yesterday, my bf said suddenly, "I am a cold and uncaring person."
"Why? Something happened?"
"No. I just feel so. That's awful."

If someone fails, my bf definitely would pick it up and feel good, but that's not daily life.
Daily life is working in the office all day filled with functionally talking, negatively socializing, and aimlessly relaxing.

The next morning after the talk, it's the first time I learned a tip called "whishing for random people to be happy":
During working hours or school hours, randomly identify two people who walk past you or who are standing or sitting around you. Secretly wish for them to be happy. Just think to yourself, "I wish for this person to be happy, and I wish for that person to be happy." That's the entire practice. 
I shared the tip with my bf immediately and encourage him to try in the office.
"It's the joy of loving-kindness. You will you're caring for others. " I said, "after one week, tell me how are you feeling."

Before knowing this technique, whether others are happy or not is none of my business. 
Now I start to do it on purpose when I am waiting for the elevator.
For such occasions, my eyes have never left the phone screen before, now I tell myself, "I wish for that person to be happy. "

  • 1

    @5plus6 - hereโ€™s an exercise I came up with for traffic: Instead of thinking the lane Iโ€™m driving in is โ€˜myโ€™ lane, I change the label in my mind to โ€˜ourโ€™ lane. Now, when somebody needs to get in front of me, itโ€™s โ€˜oh you need to get in our lane ? sure. come on in.

    Brian Ball avatar Brian Ball | Jul 13, 2019 07:58:12
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      Great! Did you invent that?
      At first, I copy tips from others, then I try to make my own.
      It's easy if you find the core of the problem, a small exercise would effectively work.

      Here's an example on my relationship:
      3 months ago, after a big fight with my bf, I realized that I didn't know how to share what's happening on me through our daily phone talking (we only meet three times a year).
      I'm not growing in a family open to speak out problems. That's hard.

      So I force myself to begin with "Do you know ..." even though don't know what to say. At first, I just say like "Do you know I eat a lot on dinner?", then I start to share real problems naturally, "Do you know I am so jealous of ** that I say something really bad behind him? "
      Now, we both enjoy sharing inner thoughts with each other.

      5plus6 avatar 5plus6 | Jul 14, 2019 11:42:14
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      @5plus6 - yes, I invented it for myself. I realized I was getting triggered when people cut in front of me, but also am fully aware that any response is only a perception.

      I just changed my perception by changing the language I use in my self talk.

      It works all the time and both ways. You can flip/flop positive and negative.

      You can also change the severity or intensity of your emotional response by changing the words.

      E.g. I'm am so fat! (could be changed to, I'm soft like fresh bread.) Now, I don't feel fat, I feel fresh and warm.

      Brian Ball avatar Brian Ball | Jul 13, 2019 20:57:17
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      @brianball wow, thank you, I learned a lot.
      Naval Ravikant said, "Happiness is a skill that you develop." You showed me a great training tip.

      5plus6 avatar 5plus6 | Jul 14, 2019 23:09:37
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    @5plus6 - these brain exercises are great fun. and. they work!

    Brian Ball avatar Brian Ball | Jul 12, 2019 06:32:11
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      @brianball After knowing Tim Ferriss, I get interested in collecting and trying these exercises. (And recommend to others if it does work on me.)

      5plus6 avatar 5plus6 | Jul 13, 2019 20:33:26
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