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Feb 10, 2019 23:52:55

Re: Letter to my younger self - On Career

by @abrahamKim PATRON | 469 words | 🐣 | 337💌

Sir Abe

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“Even in 2019, it's not what you know but who you know that will drive your career and success.”

I want to jump off Keni's sentiment by saying that It’s not about who you know, but how you know them.

And to morph that even further I’d say it’s not about how you know whom, but how you are known by  'the who'.

Knowledge and skills, AKA what you know, seems a glacier compared to the who you know. The time span that potential relationships synthesize within seem a flash compared to the availability and opportunity for us to learn. It always feels like we can learn something, if not today then tomorrow. If not today then next year. Contrast that with how relationships feel like trying to catch water with your fingers.

This is not to say that relationships form quickly or that they don’t require time to develop. What I’m saying is that when you ponder the significant relationships made in adult-life they all seem involve people just a several random happenings away from you having never known them at all.

That friend you would’ve never known had you not retained that class you'd been considering dropping. That best friend who would’ve remained an acquaintance, had you never let yourself open up about your life issues at that one random cigarette break during that office party.

The people who enter our adult lives always seem like strikes of chance. Near misses. But that’s because we are retrospectively viewing these relationship as  closed-systems.

Sure, the individual persons that entered your adult-life were chances. Yes they certainly were just a missed subway ride away from you never having met. But had you not met that individual, you would’ve met another individual similar to them at some point in time. The closed-system perspective discounts the allure factor in relationships.

Just like how losers won’t attract a high quality mate at parties, simply by being at the same one, a person will not attract someone in life who is not their equivalent. This is why negative people constantly attract other negative people, and positive people seem to attract each other. Life can be just seen as a big party, and just because we are all here, does not mean that we will all attract each other. This ultimately you will be doomed, or blessed depending on your mindset, to allure the same type of people. And vice versa: that you were doomed/blessed to have relationships with the same kind of people who have been in your life were you to play life over again.

So with this in mind, to greatly improve 'who we know' We must work on the things that make us attractive in this ‘party of life’. What that is, is often what we know! haha.


  • 1

    @abrahamKim Funnily, our call today brought this post back to mind. So I had to come read it again...

    Seun Oyebode avatar Seun Oyebode | Oct 02, 2019 15:07:42
    • 1

      @seunoyebode

      ha it's funny that you went back to fetch it. I re-read it to. I'll edit it, revise it, and publish it in a more permanent format in the future.

      Sir Abe avatar Sir Abe | Oct 02, 2019 23:49:24
  • 1

    @abrahamKim haha.. nice one... You make a good point

    Keni avatar Keni | Feb 11, 2019 18:21:28
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