I am now back at the apartment. We checked out this morning, but the days spent in that hotel feels like a life ago. The life I had been living up until that point, yet another life before. During our time at the hotel, Sam’s blabbering was annoying.
But now that we are no longer staying together on the fourth story of that hotel, I feel withdrawals. I miss him actually. His blabbering and his smile. Can humans really fall in love with anyone? Hell I even miss his dog. And I hate dogs.
I am filled with a feeling that I haven’t felt in I don’t know how long. I knew on Saturday night when we decided to do this that something important was happening. What it felt like was an existential hand reaching out to me, begging not to let go. Although the lips on his mouth might have been saying otherwise.
Now that it is over, I feel as though I am standing at the precipice of yet another friendship. I never thought Sam and I would be friends. Figured we would just be buddies. But it’s these kinds of situations that bring out the need for such a relationship. It is truly a precipice for that matter, because looking out over it is that awe-filling.
Maybe comfort and the seeking of the constant source of it is the reason why many lack real friendships.
I thought I had finished forging real friendships awhile ago. But life doesn’t seem to stop surprising.