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Jul 07, 2019 12:34:43

On families and their language

by @timsubiaco PATRON | 242 words | 🐣 | 152💌

Tim Subiaco

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Total posts: 152💌
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The parents are here. I help them carry the bags upstairs. It's funny how as they have gotten older, they have shrunk but their luggage gets increasingly bigger. Perhaps an equilibrium will be reached where they are exactly the same size as each of their suitcases and there will be order in this world.

I know that they love me, my parents but it's like parents grow a secondary mouth that overlaps and filters their first mouth. Anything that they actually want to say is filtered and spat out by the new mouth. Each family has a their own coded language that is built from a shared history whether it be trauma or joy, strength or insecurity. The new-mouth grows through this history.

At least with friends there is an expectation of misunderstanding so we tread carefully. With family we speak with our new-mouths that only know a language that is warped and ossified beyond comprehension yet we still seek meaning. 

There is no meaning in that new-language from the new-mouth, but how do you speak of things that the new-language has no words for? 

How do you break a language from the inside? 

Usually families don't and like a tribe on an island that has long lost contact with the outside world, the new-language too decays and is reduced to a rubble of sounds. After a while people in the family cease speaking to each other and speak only to themselves. 

From Tim Subiaco's collection:

  • 1


    Yo i'm really glad that you've been back. Reading these from afar has really made me want to write fiction again.

    Since youv'e been gone, I lacked this pull to sharing myself via emotions and tales... I got so stuck on sharing via logic and sensibilities.

    and when reading your stuff it fills me with something visceral and impossible to be had through just a pure summation of responsibly made good decisions.

    It allowed me to taste again the things within me that I wish to share that aren't just sensible and paths to a better life... it makes me need to also share the intangibles that might not make any sense to everyone, but means the world to somebody.

    Abe avatar Abe | Jul 07, 2019 15:35:34
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      @abrahamKim I understand that.

      I've been thinking about this as well. We admire people like Naval, Tim Ferriss etc because they 'get' the world. That's why people churn out tweetstorms and medium articles. The more we understand the outside world, the easier it is to get what we want. The writing that comes from this naturally tends to be more universal and accommodating. Taken to the extreme it becomes bland, like any other business book you pick up from an airport bookstore.

      However we shouldn't forget to look inwards as well because I think that's where we figure out the 'why'. Then the writing becomes dense and personal. But I don't think people are all that different from each other, we all fight similar demons.

      Tim Subiaco avatar Tim Subiaco | Jul 08, 2019 14:15:25
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