While I am doing well for writing on 200 WaD community, I have been off coding over a month. Why? I didn't know what to code for. I do have goals and tasks and even #100DaysOfCode challenge. But I still have no motivation for coding.
The connection between coding and my self-satisfy is gone. I still in the circle of people loving coding, and they are the reason why I still keep my dreams because I know someone has achieved the ideal life I want. BUT ALL THOSE THINGS ARE ONLINE AND MY OFFLINE LIFE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
Back to code, start from small, stay in a chain. I know I should do so but I failed, again and again, even writing these words down are hard for me. (Thanks to 200 WAD that I would force myself to clear my mind to see what's wrong with me.) As my experience, admitting the failures honestly would lead to two results later: one is laying in the failure comfort zone without guilty anymore, the other is doing the same thing in a new way to explore unknow success. The first is the way I buried lots of things, the second is the way I renew myself.