I've spent a lot of time mimicking the wrong things about a person. When I admire a person I try to emulate the things they do. But I always pick the wrong things. I'm not alone in this, but rather than criticizing this fallacy in the ubiquitous wild, I think it more productive and useful -- both to me and anyone else -- for me to simply observe how I do it wrong.
One of my heroes is 50 Cent the rapper, and I would try to copy the most salient things. Like him only sleeping 6 hours a night and his relentless work ethic in the studio. This was back after I'd graduated college, and so I began seeing sleep as something for weak, stupid people, and I began looking for what my studio was.
What was my studio?
At the time, I'd claimed to want to write, but I resented the fact that writing didn't have a studio. There was no sexy, dark, creative place I could go to with cool looking buttons, knobs, and screens. At times, I blamed my inability to write on the craft's lacking of palpably sexy tools. The closest thing I could do was go online-shopping for special notebooks and pens, and yes I even thought of buying that Hemingway Digital Typewriter.
These days I've been revisiting 50 cent, and I'm still trying to mimic him. Only, now there is something else that I learn from. Not the six hours of sleep, and his studio. Those were simply symptoms of his situation.
Now that I'm older and have failed more (aka wiser) I can now see below the surface. And though the role model and the content is the same, the lessons are anew.
Often life isn't about finding yet another fucking iceberg, but rather learning to look below the water.