January 18, 2019
I’m up early, the movers are coming in a couple of hours to load our life, by the pound, into a big truck that will meet us some unknown time in the future. It’s stressful, it’s exhausting, but most of all it’s so sad.
Over the last few days, I’ve started to realize more and more about this place and where we stand in life. For days we’ve been donating away all our things to strangers and friends that can put them to better use. For days we’ve been negotiating amongst ourselves what’s important enough to keep close and what can be risked to chance. For days we’ve been saying goodbye, fighting back tears, and dreading your last day at school with your friends.
You’re brave. You’re excited to go to your new home, “right now.” For the skateboard and the snow. Always adding, innocently at the end, one of your little friends in imaginary tow.
I’m not so sturdy. For me, I’m living through all the loss. The convenience of the city streets, the comfort of knowing where everything is, and the closeness of friends and family I’ve made forged and fostered over the last 12 years. As my dear friend Adrian, quite succinctly summarized, as he usually does, “it’s more that you’re leaving than you’re going.” Precisely.
Uncertainty is often a sign of opportunity. The brave run towards it. We’re brave. We’ll make it. That doesn’t change the fact that everything truly good is often bittersweet at the same time.
God, I really love this place — my first real home away from home. But it’s time our time to be brave.
Here we go, hands held tight.
p.s. we wouldn’t be able to get where we’re going without your amazing mom — she is a taskmaster like nobody’s business and I love her dearly for it, even though I don’t deserve it.