It all began with Jackie.
Because it was his entrance that marks the end to my previous run of the mill life.
I mean I had been leading an ordinary life, though it might've been considered not-so by a person blinded by social norms... blinded by conceptions of how things ought to be.
I had been a twenty-one year old college dropout. And though, that life may not be optimal, it was in these parts, just two inches under the social veneer, very ordinary.
Okay, so what had gotten Jackie into my life? Where was his entrance?
I remember sitting on the hardwood floor of my apartment. A functional office chair sat idly a couple feet away. After having spent countless hours sagging in that thing the past month, the floor beckoned me more.
This is what happens when you lose contact with the world. Hole yourself inside, a literal hole, and you begin finding novelty from the strangest sources. I mean, the only reason I, or even socially-integrated citizens, don't lay in bed the entire day is to get -- after eight hours of laying in the same position -- some novelty. Ah, this chair will do!
And as you live your life, the chair isn't enough novelty. Next is a standing desk, and a treadmill, and some snacks and beer after work. Video games and Netflix. Then entertainment and inebriation isn't enough so you begin upgrading to craft beers, topshelf liquor, and brickoven pizza.
Well. There's a myriad of offerings in our capitalistic society. So as long as you've got the craving, and you've got the funds, or even if you don't got it, as long as someone is willing to lend you their funds... then the novelty never ends.
But it couldn't be capitalism's fault. I learned this from my month of solitude inside my apartment. Just sitting there. I stopped desiring the usual offerings of novelty. Instead, I began desiring to sit on the floor. Began waiting for the composition of light in the evenings that came through and cast a grainy sheet over the floor. Yes. We want novelty.
So what was the last purchase of novelty that I was running from?
It had been my college degree. Three years worth. Over 60 grand. Gone. From it what I got? I don't know. I didn't think about such things the entire time. Not a single neuron firing in aims of considering... what was I doing in college? Not a single thought until one day. Bang. It caved me in. And I collapsed. And then I dropped out and holed myself inside this apartment. Talking to nobody. Eating hardly anything. Not even going on the internet.
After a few days of sitting on the floor, something inside me nudged me. To go plug my phone back in. So I did it. Novelty. And then, it was Jackie who reached out to me through that device that I plugged in.