Yesterday I went for an event that was hosted to celebrate the legacy,work and life of Toni Morrison. It was an amazing one and I never want to forget how I felt being in such a space.
I am going to express my sentiments in very simple words so they stay true.
I am glad I found my way there. It was an experience for me I must say, a joyful one of course. We had it at a subscription-only library where everyone present took turns to read from each of her novels for 8 minutes.
I was fumbling a lot when I was talking to people around. I couldn't gather my thoughts well. Now, when I think about it I believe it is because I was in the midst of highly eloquent people. I have realized that being in such spaces makes me happy a lot but I am somehow always worried I won't be able to make a good impression.
I think it is okay to feel that. The important thing is to be aware of this and keep working on this fear till I finally learn to get over it.
I am going to take my time to order and read all the books on the reading list.
I am glad that the book I read - ''GOD HELP THE CHILD'', was people's favorite.
When I saw videos of myself reading, I was impressed. Before I got the courage to actually watch the video, a lot of thoughts were streaming in my mind.
It was not an absolute polished reading exercise but I was impressed that I got through the panic and read as smoothly as I could. I am learning to acknowledge and be awed by the eloquence of others without feeling inadequate. I think that is very important to note.
I am glad that an event centering Toni Morrison brought me this rather edifying realization.
Oh! another important thing, the library where we had the event was everything. I can't seem to articulate exactly how that made me feel but it brought me a sense of calmness. It felt like a place I would want to be perpetually. It felt like a place I could find myself and grow through those numerous pages of books. It felt like a place my highest self could thrive. I don't exactly know what to make of all these feelings but I look forward to making sure I find myself in such spaces consistently.
The event fed my soul so well and it is one that I may never get over.