Someone from my past has died. They weren't big in my present, but I am visiting home for the time being and the funeral home is five minutes away. Plus I had communicated with this person's younger brother on and off, albeit work related.
Still though. Even while emailing for work purposes, it still felt kindred. Still felt like we would've been good friends if just a couple more variables were tweaked in our favor. But, it's not about potential always because sometimes things don't always line up.
Looking back at high school, everything looks so easy. There are fewer life variables like geographical distances. Everyone is just stuck in the same building for near 40 hours a week. And yet still, I remember even back then, friendships being a thing subject to uncontrollable variables... if just a couple more were tweaked just a little bit.
In high school, I felt more that relationships that didn't work out were due to my inadequacies. In college, it felt more like relationships that didn't work out were due to outside variables. The person and I not being in a class together long enough. Something like that.
Who knows how I'll be viewing these years and relationships in retrospect.